Let me first start by stating that I am not a relationship person. Well, I wasn’t a relationship person. Now I probably have to categorize myself as a relationship person because its socially incorrect to have a boyfriend for a year and call yourself “not a relationship person.” Right?
My point- they were all right, long distance sucks. I mean where is this so-called boyfriend when you look smokin’ hot and just want someone to tell you that. I’ll tell you where he is, he is a long distance away. But more than that, I never really imagined it being this hard. I mean MC (that’s him, that’s the boy) and I spent the whole summer apart (RIP summer 16 please never come back) and it wasn’t great, but we survived. Still, college seems to be a very very different ballpark than summer camp. All of a sudden it’s hard to even text because he’s in class and I’m at the gym, or I’m out with friends and he’s eating a meal, and the fact that he is currently living off a flip phone (the “Trap Phone”) makes this all the more impossible.
All of the above aside I’ve learned three things about long distance, and I call them “THE BIG Fs:”
F #1: Fighting. Get used to it. Every sentence feels pointed and offensive sometimes. Don’t worry, it’s not you, it’s not him, it’s distance. It has inserted itself all up in there in your relationship and made you think the world is ending with every word, but it’s not, you are just slowly going insane from lack of constant attention. Or at least I am. Please pray for me.
F #2: Finding. Seeing each other is actually so hard to coordinate. MC and I are only 40 minutes away from each other but we might as well be in different states in different countries on different planets. I don’t have a car, he doesn’t have a car. I don’t have a free weekend until October 6th, he doesn’t like that I don’t have a free weekend until October 6th (don’t shoot the messenger, shoot the business scholars program). As you can see, planning is tedious and horrible and hard and heartbreaking, but you just have to suck it up and pull out your day planner. Yes, I use a day planner. Google Calendar is too advanced for me. I’m working on it.
F #3: Friendship. Honestly, sometimes it feels like we’re back to those unfortunate 3 years before I realized MC wanted to be more than friends because all you can do is text and Facetime. I’m talking middle school level relationship right here. Static. Minimal excitement. Here’s an excerpt from our messages today:
MC: U done?
Me: No ugh so much hw i am dying
MC: its been four hours tf
I don’t know about you, but that sounds like real good, stimulating, engaging conversation right there. Love that stuff.
But in the end, that moment when I am finally hugging him and smelling his smell (I am not creepy, after a year I can sniff my boyfriend and have it not be creepy, okay? You date someone for a year and then get back to me.) make every single F worth it. At least for me, when I see guys at school all I can think is “wow, college has really cute boys, but why give up a good thing while it’s still good.”
And that right there erases those miles real quick.
Stuck in my head: Cigarette Daydreams // Cage the Elephant
Snap it: Reflection Pool, DC
Related but unrelated: Happy anniversary.