I’m a huge fan of classic movies. And by classic I mean Clueless and Mean Girls, not whatever black and white shot-on-film thing you were thinking. But here’s my one problem: all these girl power features promote girl on girl hate as part of a friendship. And let me just tell you, girl on girl hate has no place in my friendships at all. Zip. Zap. Zero.
In honor of International Womens Day, I want to vent about my top pet peeve. As my friendships have grown and matured through the years I’ve learned that unnecessary confrontation and sass only inhibit your ability to truly benefit from a relationship. I think that little flame that makes a teenage girl feel incomplete without drama goes out in *most* people pretty early in high school. And while it seems the days of middle school cat fights have been traded for constructive conversation, in all honesty, the hate is still around and it’s perpetuated by the fact that so many people choose dismiss it.
I want to focus in on one aspect in particular, which is when this happens between close friends. We’re all guilty of snapping sometimes, but when someone who claims to love you unconditionally drags you down through verbal violence it’s really unfortunate. And personally, I tend to move those people to the end of my go-to list. We don’t have to get along perfectly, but being “attacking” and saying things WITH THE INTENT TO HURT stand to say that there are things more valuable than my friendship. Honesty is crucial, but so are delicacy and restraint. There’s a way to say the hard things without making them feel like daggers through the BFF heart.
None the less, I’ve been so fortunate to learn from so many strong women who have shaped me into who I am. And from each of them I have seen traits that I’m even more proud to see in myself today. I know dedication and confidence from my Mom, & kindness and empathy from my aunts. One grandma has shown me how to enjoy the finer things in life while never forgetting what’s truly important and the other one an appreciation for simplicity. My sister has taught me so much about compassion, staying young, and what it really means to be a role model. Friends have built my overall awareness and my ability to laugh at myself in the face of failure (or in the face of being made fun of for my weird “phases”). Camp counselors created acceptance, both for myself and for others, while years with poms taught me leadership and courage. AOII is overflowing with such giving and welcoming women, & I’ve seen a female-fueled marketing department make the impossible happen without even chipping a nail.
I have so many incredible influences to celebrate this Womens Day and I’m happy to say I’ll be eating a cookie …or two… in your honor. Hug your mom, stop hating on your friends, watch a girl power movie.
I’ve never been more ready to live my life like a girl.
Stuck in my head: Green Light // Lorde
Snap it: SOHO, NYC