On Socials.

As the Torah says, “When life hands you writer’s block, serve up a cute little social media update to keep your friends up to date on the truly important things in life.” So stretch your scrolling finger and get ready to talk tech.

#1 Comment Threads on Instagram
Looks like we’re officially one step closer to a universal platform. This feature, already showing itself on Facebook, allows you to reply to comments thread style rather than each comment as a separate comment, even when replying. Ugh, hard to explain but this Mashable article does a damn good job.

Thoughts: Welcome to a less cluttered gram. It’ll definitely make comments more easily read and insta-fights less annoying. Embrace the change, baby. It’s probably for the better. Your feed is going to #thrive.

#2 Launching Facebook TV Series
What even is cable? Streaming is obviously huge right now and between HBOgo, Netflix, Hulu, etc, you would think there wouldn’t be any more room at the bar. But here it comes, more exciting than when Carrie and Big finally got together: Facebook is introducing its first series, featuring the Instagram account Humans of New York. Raise a glass to your next binge watch. 

Thoughts: If you’re emotionally unstable this is sure to destroy you. It looks inspirational but also interesting and compelling. Stories from all over the world, created over the past four years, about the real world and the real problems people face. We’re talking drugs, homelessness, depression. But also some of the special moments in life, like love and gratitude and friendship. Check out the trailer and order a box of tissues on Amazon. For more info, I’m going to pass it to this Forbes article.

#3 Getting Rid of Snapchat’s White Border on Imported Stories
While Snapchat is supposed to be an in-real-time kind of thing, we’re all guilty of uploading pictures to our stories after the fact. The real struggle: the white border that shows up when you import from your camera roll. This short video from Digital Trends will teach you how to stick it to the Snap Gods and make each moment look in-the-moment.

Thoughts: I’m up for anything that gives me that Snapchat influencer vibe. Another hack, another step closer to Kylie Jenner status. Enter shameless snapchat plug here: @jmetzman.

That’s all for this week. Unrelated but related: I’m going to need double the spin classes to cope with all this back to school stress.


Stuck in my head: Look What You Made Me Do // Taylor Swift (!!!!!!!!!)
Snap it: CAVA HQ

 

The Only Relevant Holiday.

Oh my, now would you look at the calendar? It seems today is one of the only holidays I actually enjoy. Welcome to Social Media Day. And no, I didn’t make it up, Mashable has my back. But, I bet you thought this was about America’s birthday or whatever we celebrate on July 4th. Apologies for my not knowing; I learn all my history from Hamilton. 

Back to it. As we’ve discussed before, I’m not so into commercialized holidays. But this holy day of the year cherishes the one thing I spend more time doing than thinking about avo toast. Today we celebrate LinkedIn, Facebook, Snap, Twitter, and the most royal of all, Instagram. Postmates is already delivering the Baked and Wired cupcakes.

In honor of the occasion I thought I would briefly discuss some social media updates, rumors, & my thoughts on all the madness. Just keeping it real here. Jordan coming at you from her kitchen, Lorde playing softly in the background. Unedited. Unfiltered. Always hungry.

#1: Death to the Finsta
So for all my friends out there that aren’t as Insta-obsessed as the rest, a “finsta” is a separate private Instagram account for users to share funny, embarassing, shambly memories (photos, captions, videos, etc) with a smaller group of followers than their main account, usually reserved for the BFFs. Recognizing that users want to create smaller communties, Instagram is toying with the idea of creating a separate tab for profiles, called “Instagram Favorites,” to allow users to have finstas attached to their original accounts. You choose who sees it. You choose what posts go where. It’s essentially two feeds on one account. 

Thoughts: To be honest, I love it. The only reason I don’t have a finsta is because of the whole log in, log out thing. It becomes maintaining two accounts instead of one. As Hannah Montana would gladly say, this is basically the best of both worlds. Just another reason Instagram is taking over the world. They just get it.

#2: Snap Map
Snapchat is letting users track each others’ locations all through a map on the app. Essentially what you do is pinch your screen until a map appears with all your snap-buddies’ Bitmojis. Zoom in tightly and you can pretty much tell exactly where a person is. Rumor had it users get a notification when you click on their name to find their location. Tested first hand, the rumor isn’t true. Insert loud exhale. Stalk away. There is also an invisible option where you can lurk in the shadows, unlocated.

Thoughts: You do you Snap, but I’m gonna do me and pretend this update doesn’t exist. The feature is unoriginal (hello, Apple’s Find My Friends option) and creepy. Offically going full ghost. Text me if you need to find me.

#3: EyeEm
New photo sharing app alert. If you thought VSCOCam editing was revolutionary this is next level. The app has a machine learning feature that can recognize postable vs. not so postable images. Bye bye camera roll clutter. Intended as a photo-selling platform, EyeEm compares your photo options to the bank of pics already uploaded. Basically, the more people that share, the smarter EyeEm gets. We’re on the road to prime Insta selection.

Thoughts: While still new to EyeEm, I’m impressed by its ability to crawl a photo stream quickly and pull out images. Not all its suggestions were double tap worthy, mostly because it was pulling suggestions based on an algorithm that wasn’t created to determine if my open mouth smile is just a little too open or if my dress is wrinkled. But dear sweet EyeEm, I see a teenage girl overload coming you way. I hope you can learn to spot an almond milk latte from a soy one.

Honestly, I’m just proud to live in a world where social media gets a day to shine.


Stuck in my Head: 50 Shades of Cray // The Bitch Bible Podcast
Snap it: The W Hotel, Washington DC

Apologies for the MAAAAJOR geek out. Love a good social media update, though. Check out Mashable’s Social Media Page for more. It’s a must.